AnnaMarieGoyaSweater

(Source: theepichumor)

i take my family for granted. We just all sat at dinner laughing and enjoying each other’s company. this is somewhat morbid, but i couldn’t imagine losing any one of them, i am not strong enough for that to happen.

willlll always love youuuuuuuhooohooooo

I did learn something in goshen. I’ve been thinking a lot, actually.
I’ve learned that people love romance.
Talking to my friends from both Christian schools and party schools have helped me come to this sad conclusion. While the Christians seem to pursue relationships, party school students seem to pursue “fooling around”, both of which is not my style. It just seems that people just want someone, whether for one night, or for a long time.
This has caused me to wonder what i think about guys. Yeah, I have been attracted to some, but right now i don’t want a relationship, and I don’t want to fool around either, lol.
I hardly ever think about guys other than just being friends. I mostly focus on other things, like school and goals. And while I don’t have many close guy friends, I do like having guy friends because males are just cooler than females, and offer different perspectives.
So I guess I’m weird in that I don’t really pursue guys, but I wonder if my outlook is wrong because, and this has happened, I can be indecisive because I don’t think about what I want. Eventually, I will have to marry bc I want to adopt kids, and I want them to have a father. But I don’t think about my future husband, only when I pray that wherever he is, he is safe.
Well, idk because I rarely think of guys in that way. But oh well, I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there. I kind of crossed a small bridge last year, and I learned I want someone who cares more about me than being in a relationship. And I learned to be up front.
But there are more important things in life than worrying about guys. It’s not worth it, and I don’t need one. God is in control. When Christians worry about who they should be with, they aren’t trusting God. It will happen when it’s meant to happen.

if i could see today from a year ago, i would be really upset. it’s not the same.

but i am content with change. i was reading a journal i kept from a year ago, and my perception of God was really weird. I was really self-absorbed, more than i am now, which is hard to imagine.